well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize