Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
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Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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