my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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