Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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