She is in my trunk
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
