Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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