if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
