Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
