is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
