hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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