I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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