I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
