I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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