this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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