you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My life is pants optional.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
