He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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