I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
