she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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