**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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