after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize