after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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