You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
