just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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