Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
