all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
