If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
