yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
