I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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