It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
