I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
