We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how do flat chested girls get laid?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm really busy with my period
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