If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
