Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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