hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
