just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
