we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
