She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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