dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
