just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
