So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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