yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My bed smells like the plague
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