they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
