MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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