I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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