I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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