Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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