I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
