I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
