watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i dont even know how to be here
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
