turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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