You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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