No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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