TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
