If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
