Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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