I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
