Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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