Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
True college students do jello shots in the library
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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