as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
