They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
