my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
