it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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