Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
