Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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