i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
