She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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