I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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