And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
